My glamorous work took me on a journey across the Midwest today. About two hours and 18 ounces of soda into the drive I saw a billboard that caught my eye, and this time it wasn't for the Lion's Den. It was a simple billboard, all it had was a giant Bible and the words "God says read the Bible." This billboard entertained me for a solid half hour as I thought:
1. What a great twist on Simon says. God says read the Bible. God says be nice. God says go to church. Sodomy is okay. Haha, caught you, I didn't say God says... now GO TO HELL!
2. Prophecy has really gotten lazy and uncreative, like fortune cookies that don't tell fortunes anymore. "Hey Joe, this is God. Uh, It's Friday and I am on my way out to a 3:45 tee time. I hate to lay this on you, but I was supposed to reach out to my people via a prophecy today. Can you do me a huge favor? Let's just keep it simple, say, let's put a billboard in some random location on an interstate in the middle of nowhere. Don't strain yourself on the message, we don't want to cause that heart attack of yours to come a few years eaarly do we? Oops, shouldn't have hit the 19th yet. Anyway, just tell em I said to read the Bible. That should work for now."
3. Are illiterate people going to Hell since whoever wrote this sign thinks it is against God's wishes to not read?
Ultimately my thought process was broken by one overriding thought...I had to pee.
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